Loss Looms Larger Than Gain
People don't weigh losses and gains equally, even when they're the same size. Giving something up feels worse than getting the equivalent thing feels good — which is why a perfectly reasonable offer can still meet resistance if it feels like it's taking something away.
Reframe Before You Ask
- Notice what the other side stands to lose in this deal, not just what they gain.
- Frame your offer around what's protected or kept, not only what's added.
- If you meet resistance to a 'good' deal, ask what it feels like they're giving up.
Understanding Beats Persuading
You don't need a better offer nearly as often as you need a better understanding of what the other person is afraid of losing.
Related Insights
Leadership
The Power of Silence in a Negotiation
The instinct to fill a pause often costs negotiators more than any argument does. Silence, held well, does real work.
Psychology
Confirmation Bias: Why We Believe What We Want to Believe
Your brain naturally searches for evidence that supports existing beliefs. Learn how to challenge it.
Previous Insight